


Pushing

by sowrongitswhite (FYWC)



Category: The Maccabees
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2018-01-07 17:59:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1122720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FYWC/pseuds/sowrongitswhite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix keeps pushing Orlando into things. It starts with only music, but turns into so much more. There are just too many things you can push people in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. MUSIC (07/99)

**Author's Note:**

> The chapter titles are related to the time they're set in (e.g. 07/99 would be July 1999)

 

In the summer that Felix started pushing Orlando into things, the latter was 15 and on holidays with his family.

Felix White was 14, a dashing young lad with the charm of a 24-year-old and the enthusiasm of a 4-year-old. He was also Matt Weeks’ friend, who was about his age and who was Orlando’s younger brother.

In the summer that Felix started pushing Orlando into things, the Weeks family took Felix with them as they went to Brighton for the weekend.

Bob Dylan was playing on a tape in the car, and Mrs Weeks tapped her red-polished toes to the beat, her feet put up on the dashboard, her favourite liquorice candies in her hands. She was in a holiday mood, and that was more than understandable, looking at the amount of hours she worked in a week. Orlando hadn’t had lunch with her for over a month. The same went for his dad, who was just a bit stressed out by the stop-and-go on the motorway to Brighton. Otherwise, he was really relaxed as well, seeing as his sons were, for once, not pulling each other’s hair on the backseat, which was probably because Felix was sitting in between them.

Orlando and Matt’s parents had loved Felix from the first time the boy had set foot on their property, the older brother had realised quickly. But who wouldn’t, really? Felix always knew a good joke to tell, he was really mature for his age – while Orlando himself felt like he was still a child inside – because he had to care for his younger brothers and he had a great taste in music, according to Matt. Orlando didn’t know anything about music, he liked art. He liked drawing things, and people, and he liked buiding little things out of other little things.

“Why don’t you include Orlando in your conversation?,” Mrs Weeks suddenly said from the passenger seat. Orlando hadn’t even listened to what his brother and Felix had talked about, he’d been lost in his thoughts much too deep.

“Cause he knows nothing about music!,” Matt sighed.

Felix, however, looked at the older one with a funny face. “Do you know The Beatles?,” he asked, blue eyes staring Orlando down.

Orlando nodded. Yes, of course, who hadn’t heard of them?

“I’ve got _Revolver_ on tape, we’ve got this machine at home with which you can record stuff from vinyl to cassette! You need to listen, man, it’s such a good record!,” Felix told him with an expression of pure excitement on his face. He really wanted Orlando to take a listen, seeing as he’d already gotten out his walkman from his backpack.

“Go on!,” he said, pushing the device and earphones in Orlando’s little hands.

The first thing Felix ever pushed Orlando into was new music and that very summer, Orlando Weeks discovered his love for The Beatles. He wouldn’t put Felix’s walkman down until the batteries ran out.


	2. LEAVES (10/99)

 

Orlando was 16 when he realised that Felix was a better friend to him than he was to Matt. His brother had gotten a girlfriend sometime after that Brighton weekend and Felix had proceeded to hang out at the Weeks’ house, but not in Matt’s room anymore. Sometimes, the dinner table would be packed with people, when Matt’s girlfriend and Felix were having dinner with them on the same day.

Felix being 15, he’d talk about girls a lot. Apparently, there was that one girl in his class making the eyes at him, but she just wasn’t his type so they hadn’t kissed yet, Orlando supposed.

That autumn, the two of them were on their way home (because by now, ‘home’ also meant The White House to Orlando) from playing footie in the park that was closest to both their homes. Walking through the forest, kicking leaves out of their way, they stayed silent most of the time.

“It’s crazy how long Matt and Bethan have been a couple now,” Felix said after a few minutes, totally out of the blue.

Orlando didn’t know what to answer, really, except ‘Yes, they’ll probably marry but I don’t wanna be an uncle yet’, but he kept it to himself. ‘Especially because he’s younger than me.’

“Mhm,” he said instead.

“Did they have sex yet?,” Felix asked, and Orlando stumbled over a stone hidden by the leaves. Or his own feet. He didn’t quite know.

“I…what?”

Felix chuckled to himself a bit. “Well, they’re probably doing it right now!”

“Oh god!,” Orlando spat, because Felix was right: their parents would still be at work, Orlando was on his way to the Whites’ house and Matt and Bethan would be alone for a few more hours. And the boy was only fifteen!

“A shocking thought, innit?,” Felix laughed. They’d reached the end of the forest and passed the allotments now, all tidy and empty, since it was a cold day. Only now did Orlando realise that he was actually freezing, since he was only wearing sweaty sportswear and not even a bobble hat or a scarf.

“Oh come on, let’s go home,” Felix smiled, but instead of maybe chasing Orlando through the corridor of garden plots, he pushed the smaller one into a pile of autumn leaves, all yellow and wet and dirty.

“Urgh!,” Orlando screeched. “You’re disgusting, Fe! I h–”

His rant was cut off by Felix jumping into the big pile as well, with a cry of joy.

“–ate you,” Orlando finished, looking at his happy friend lying in the dirty leaves next to him.

“What? You what?,” Felix asked, out of breath from laughing alone, “You ate me?”

“No,” Orlando said, trying to correct him, “I–”

“What part of me did you eat, then? My arm? My fingernails? My brain? Are you a zombie?”

“Your soul, mate. I ate your soul and I h-ate you, Fe.  _Hate_!,” the smaller boy growled and threw a handful of leaves in Felix’s face.

“I hate you too, mate,” Felix smiled playfully and let some smaller leaves fall on his friend’s head. “Now let’s go home.” He’d already stood up, his hand put out to help Orlando up, all gentleman, but Orlando slapped his hand away. Before he could stand up on his own, though, Felix lifted his small body up bridal style, with strong arms a 15-year-old was not supposed to even possess.

All yelling and flailing didn’t help, and Felix carried Orlando all the way into his street before collapsing on the boardwalk with laughter.


	3. WAVES (07/01)

 

Felix was that kind of 16-year-old that had two little brothers he had to take care of, since their father was working a lot and their mother had been at hospital for a really long time now. Hugo was 15, Will 13 and it was summer, so of course they had to go swimming sooner or later. Fe had asked Orlando to come along with him, because really, how much fun could babysitting be when you were alone?

Orlando was looking forward to the day with mixed feelings. Sure, he loved to meet up with Felix, and he absolutely adored Hugo and Will, but well, being 17 and still not physically developed like other boys, Orlando felt insecure about his body. Even Hugo was taller than him, and he was only 15!

In the end, Orlando had worried too much, of course. Felix didn’t even care, and no one else said anything.

The Latchmere Leisure Centre’s swimming pools had a wave machine and not even Felix could contain his excitement about that fact. Orlando was amazed: just once every hour, hundreds of people came to enjoy the waves; children, adolescents, adults, senior citizens, whole families. Just to enjoy these fifteen minutes of the water carrying them, of losing the floor beneath their feet, of playing castaway, of surfing, of feeling the unpredictable power of water.

“Quite the poet, are we?,” Felix said and Orlando realised he’d said his thoughts out loud.

“I–I was just think–”

“It’s cool, man, you should write it down. Maybe you can make a song about the complex concept that is the Latchmere Wave Machine,” Felix laughed lightheartedly. “Let’s collect Will.”

They’d been sitting on the edge of the main pool, watching Will rushing down the elephant slide over and over again, while Hugo was chatting up some teenage girls that were way too old for him.

They got a boat. Well, it was more a foam raft, but for Hugo it was a ship and they were lucky to have gotten one. While Will held on to the mast in the middle and Hugo took in the rest of the ‘ship’ – because he was the captain – the older boys held on to it from the sides.

And then the waves started. It was hard to hold on to Hugo’s ship, especially for little Will, but somehow they survived the trip. It was like the crashing waves of the unpredictable wide ocean. They were lifted up and let down again, losing hold of the floor, flailing, kicking, laughing. It was wonderful.

“We need a name for the ship so it doesn’t sink!,” Hugo exclaimed suddenly. “I will name it… Fe… Ferlando! Like my sailors, Felix and Orlando!”

“So if only one sailor’s left, will your ship be named after him, Captain White?,” Felix asked and after a shot moment of consideration, his little brother nodded.

“Well then, goodbye mate!,” Felix said and before Orlando could even hold his breath, his friend had already pushed him off the raft and into the waves. It wasn’t that Orlando couldn’t swim, he could do it quite well, but the loss of hold caught him by surprise and he yelped, which resulted in swallowing the disgusting chlorine water and flailing and kicking uncontrollably. Orlando fought against the powerful waves for a few seconds, until stronger arms grabbed him and pulled him up. That same moment, the waves died down and Orlando could almost touch the floor with the tips of his toes again.

Coughing and spitting, the younger was hanging in Felix’s arms, who was apologising over and over again.

“Sir Felix saved Sir Orlando’s life! This ship shall again be named after both of them!,” Hugo cheered, sticking his fist into the air.

“We’re sailors, not knights!,” Felix laughed and Orlando cough-laughed, too. How could he still be angry at his friend when he attempted to save his life after almost killing him?

“Hey, you’re quite the lightweight!,” Felix said and moved Orlando around in the water.

“It’s all physics,” the older assured him, hands still on Felix’s naked shoulders, a little smile adorning his lips. He was still coughing a bit of all the chemical water having filled his lungs.

“I’m so sorry, Land,” Felix said for the fiftieth time and slowly let go of his friend. “Let’s go somewhere else, now that the waves are gone.”


	4. PIT (03/02)

 

Orlando hadn’t been to a lot of concerts, compared to some of his mates who had started going to shows with 13 because their older siblings would take them. His older brother Caspar was a big fan of music, sure, but he rarely listened to any bands that were still existing. But Orlando started to feel he needed to see his favourite bands live more. Living in London, surely that wasn’t hard.

Felix called him on a Wednesday evening. “He sounds very excited,” his mother had told Orlando when handing him the phone.

“Hi Fe,” Orlando said.

“Hold on to anything near you, Lando!,” his friend said. “The new NME just came in the mail and guess who’s coming to London?”

“I don’t know, who?”

“The Strokes, man! The fucking… The Strokes! I’m going crazy over here, okay?”

Orlando’s heart skipped a beat.  _Is This It?_  was one of about three records he actually owned and he absolutely loved it.

“We need to go there, Land!,” Felix pleaded, but that was totally unnecessary, since Orlando definitely wanted to go.

And so it happened that a few months later, the two of them would go to their first Strokes concert, running late a bit, so the first few rows were all full, so they kinda stood in the middle. It wasn’t long until the first moshpit started right behind them, and instead of taking care that they wouldn’t get hurt, Felix pushed Orlando into the pit. The smaller boy stumbled backwards a few steps before he was nearly crushed between ribs and elbows and shoulders. Someone shoved him against a fragile girl and they both fell to the floor. While Orlando tried to apologise to the girl, he was already pulled up by everyone and a sweaty hand grabbed his.

“Fuck, are you okay?,” a concerned Felix asked, eyes widening in horror.

“Yeah, I guess… what’s wrong?,” Orlando shouted over the loud music.

“You’re bleeding!,” Felix yelled back and pulled his friend through the crowd. “Come on, and keep your head up!”

Orlando did as he was told, now feeling the blood in his nose, threatening to run out every second.

They got to the boys’ bathroom and Felix pulled a whole bunch of towelling paper out of the dispenser. “There,” he said and Orlando pressed the paper to his nose.

“Man, you lasted like five seconds in there!,” Felix sighed while soaking another paper under the tap. “Sorry for pushing you, man, I forgot how fragile you are.” He took the paper out of Orlando’s hand and started wiping the blood from his face. It wasn’t much and Orlando could’ve easily done it himself, but Felix insisted on doing it.

“It’s okay,” Orlando mumbled as Felix gently put his hand on the back of his friend’s neck to have a better hold. It felt nice, that caring touch, fingers cold on his hot neck, water still drip-drip-dripping from the tips, falling into Orlando’s collar and running down his spine.

“Hey, at least your shirt is still clean,” Felix smiled and kissed his friend on the top of his head. “You’re okay now. Let’s get inside again, I think I’m hearing ‘Last Nite’!”

The club was packed when they got back inside and little Orlando couldn’t see a thing from the back. He was only tiny!

“Come on,” Felix said and got down on one knee.

“What are you doing?,” Orlando shouted.

“Get on my shoulders!”

“I’m too h–”

“GET ON MY SHOULDERS!!,” Felix repeated. “I’ve got this, trust me! Do you trust me?”

Orlando nodded quickly and got on the taller boy’s shoulders. Together, they were a good 2.20m tall and the view was marvellous. “Thanks, man!,” Orlando shouted in Felix’s ear and dug his fingers into those brown curls.

He stayed up there for the rest of the song and gave Felix a big sweaty hug when he was back on steady ground.


	5. TENT (08/03)

 

They’d all gotten Reading Festival tickets for Christmas. Hugo was a pure little ball of jealousy because Mr White wouldn’t let his sons go to three-day-festivals before they were 18, so Hugo had to wait one more year. He, however, was swearing to go anyway. “Next year,” he’d announce, “and if I have to climb the fence!”

The camping trip was ‘in tents’, as Robert used to say all the time, and it literally was, since Orlando landed in other people’s tents more than in his own. It wasn’t even his own fault; Felix would just randomly push him sideways into other tents whenever they were drunk enough. Which was about every evening. They were five boys, Robert and Rupert and Charlie sharing a four-person-tent and Orlando and Felix sleeping in a smaller one that held three people – or two with a lot of bags, like them.

On Friday night, after some beers and some really bad tetra pak wine and some spliffs and other stuff (for Robert and the others, not for Lando and Fe. Orlando’s body was too busy reacting to the alcohol and the weed and Felix just knew what was good for him), our boys went back from their last walk to the loo when Felix suddenly pushed the smaller one into a random tent on their way.

“Oh god!,” it sounded from the inside and they heard a zipper opening.

“Shit, let’s go! C’mon, Land!,” Felix hissed, laughing at the same time, and pulled his friend up. Before whoever they’d just woken up could even leave their tent, the two had run back to their little group, who’d finally found the courage to chat up the girls camping next to them.

“I’m really tired,” Orlando said. The weed had definitely gotten to his head and he didn’t feel well.

“Yeah, I’ll tell the boys we’re going to bed now,” Felix agreed, bringing out his statement with a big yawn.

Orlando was already wrapped up in his sleeping bag when Fe crawled back into their tent and zipped it up. “How high are they?,” Orlando mumbled, startling Felix.

“I thought you were asleep already,” he said and added, “Well, they’re high enough that Rob has apparently gone missing with one of the girls…”

Orlando sighed. It was usually quite nice to lie or sit in silence with Felix, it wasn’t even awkward, it was always a comfortable silence between the two of them. But tonight, Orlando was drunk and stoned and did things he rarely did, like talking about certain things.

“You haven’t talked about Katie in a while,” he pointed out. Katie was a girl from Felix’s class he’d hooked up with once, just shortly, at the beginning of the year.

“Yeah…I–I dunno, really. It just didn’t click, you know?” His fingers slowly tip-tip-tipped over the tent wall, then trailing off, the back of his hand landing on his forehead. “I mean, she was sweet and all, but she’s a bit of a chav, it wouldn’t have worked out, I guess.”

Orlando couldn’t help but giggle. He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t control his actions. Alcohol and weed had taken over. “What’s so funny?,” Felix asked.

“Nothing, I’m just glad…,” Orlando said, “…um, that you’re here. Let’s watch The Libertines tomorrow.”

“Oh you bet we’ll watch ‘em!,” Felix swooned. Orlando smiled. Sometimes he caught himself thinking he might like Felix a bit too much, but quickly forgot. Not tonight, though.

“Are you a warm person?,” he asked into the darkness.

“Warm? Baby, I’m a  _hot_  person!,” Felix said, the cheeky grin audible in his voice.

“No but really, are you warm? Cause I’m freez– Yeah. Thanks,” Orlando smiled as Felix spooned up behind him, hands clasped together around his friend’s body.

“Your body needs to get used to the drugs, man,” Felix whispered and nuzzled against the back of Orlando’s neck, leaving a strange sensation where his nose had brushed the soft skin. Orlando stayed silent and pretended to be asleep already. It took him another half hour to actually drift off.


	6. WALL (12/03)

 

It took Orlando another half year to realise he’d probably fancied Felix for quite some time. While other boys his age had been going out with girls for nearly seven years now, Orlando had only ever kissed a few girls at stupid party games because he’d  _had_  to. After Katie, Felix had messed around with a girl named Laura for a week, but that fling had ended right in time for Fe’s 19th birthday. And Orlando, well, he’d woken up from stupid dreams, and even daydreams, he wouldn’t talk about to anyone.

Christmas was quite the White Christmas, since Orlando spent Boxing Day at their house; Mr White made a fantastic dinner, the fireplace was lit, everyone was all rosy cheeks, big jumpers and socks, hot chocolate and biscuits. Christmas at the Weeks’ house wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t as traditional. Sure, Christmas tree and stockings, but they’d never gone to church or sang Christmas carols with the family. Now, with Felix and Hugo playing their guitars and Will having found his love for keys, they had a little living-room jam session in which Mr White was amazed by Orlando’s unique singing voice, which the boy himself had never seen as quite so extraordinary, and he couldn’t stop telling his son’s best friend how much Mrs White would have loved hearing him sing if she’d still been around. It made Orlando sad, but he smiled and said thank you politely.

Orlando caught Felix’s warm smiles while singing, icy blue finding chocolate brown, and he realised Felix had rarely smiled at someone else in that certain way. And rarely meant actually never.

Boxing day was a Friday and of course, all their friends would go out, in Camden or whereever, and so did Orlando and Felix. Just some bar they usually went to, where acquainted DJs would spin some old records, which was really nice.

Felix first kissed Orlando before they hadn’t even been inside, just a spontaneous smooch right on the mouth, which Orlando found completely surprising, since he hadn’t spotted the well-placed mistletoe over their heads. It left him a bit speechless and a bit more awkward, while Felix just went inside, happy-go-lucky as always, throwing Merry Christmasses around the room and greeting whoever he knew.

They drank and danced and Felix talked a lot and Orlando listened a lot… or mostly not; he watched a lot. Watched the hands gesturing, drawing in the air, watched the lips shouting over the music, whispering swears, moving and smiling and drawing back for a grin, watched the eyes, shining and blinking and winking. Watched Felix, adorable, charming, beautiful Felix, goddamn good friend, best friend probably.

Orlando hated himself for loving Felix so much, but he couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t fucking help it.

Felix then kissed Orlando a few hours later, whisky breath, cigarette lips, somehow randomly, because nothing special had happened, really. Okay, they’d gotten closer together on that sofa, but only because they had to share it with two more people, and Orlando had jokingly put his legs on Felix’s lap, who’d put his hands over them, loosely at first, then wandering, fingernails scratching at the jeans, while he’d just kept on talking. Orlando did notice every move, kept glancing at Felix’s hands, but he kept his mouth shut. Scaring Fe off by saying something stupid – and Lando was a pro at saying stupid things – was the last thing he wanted right now.

The music was loud and shouting in each other’s ears was necessary. It was unnecessary to grab Orlando’s neck while doing so, it was also unnecessary for the latter to sling his arm around Felix’s shoulder to sit up a bit. Felix then kissed Orlando randomly and yes, Orlando should have been prepared that this would happen at some point because, being so close and so happy and so drunk, why the hell not?

It took a while for Orlando to return the kiss, because his mind was turning over and his thoughts tumbled over one another that he wondered if you could actually hear it crashing and clattering on the outside, too. Felix’s hand had reached Orlando’s hip, gripping it tightly, letting his fingertips lightly tug on the end of the soft jumper.

Orlando was not a good kisser, he was about 99.9% sure about that, and he struggled to find a good rhythm with Felix.

Then suddenly, it started working and it was the craziest thing. It was madness. Orlando did realise they were in public after two minutes and quickly retreated to take a look around the room. Except of two girls staring shamelessly, nobody seemed to care at all. Felix followed his look and apparently noticed the unease in Orlando’s face.

“Do you wanna go somewhere else?”

“Can we go home?,” Orlando responded, ‘Home’ meaning the White House, since he’d spend the night there anyway. Felix smiled his warm, reassuring smile which made Orlando feel better immediately.

“Yes. Yes, let’s go home.”

They left.

Not many people went out on Christmas, so the boys were pretty much alone at the bus stop. It was completely unromantic with the occasional beer bottle being knocked over and the few cars going by. “Are you uncomfortable?,” Felix asked quietly and Orlando didn’t quite know what exactly he meant; the public kissing or kissing in general, or being at the bus stop, or…

“I…I don’t think so,” Orlando stuttered, his eyes quickly changing from looking into one eye to the other with Felix being so close.

“I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want,” Felix reassured him, smiled, and pushed Orlando into the bus stop wall gently. “We have another four minutes,” he whispered, his breath making clouds in the Christmas air, brushing over Orlando’s face, who bit his lip with anticipation.

“Don’t do that,” Felix said, eyes fixed on the younger boy’s lips.

“Wh–”

“It just makes me fancy you even more.”

Orlando swallowed hard. Fe hadn’t really just said that, right? It was just because he was drunk, surely? But didn’t drunk people and children always tell the truth?

They kissed until the bus arrived.

With Felix as a friend, Orlando had gotten used to being pushed into things, but this night, it was a bit extreme. Felix pushed him into the house and then into his bedroom door from the inside, to make sure no family member in this house would wake up from muffled sighs and giggles and whispered words. Those were things that were only to be heard by each other and not to be shared with anyone else.


	7. BED (03/04)

It took Orlando a bit longer to realise that Felix had meant that ‘I fancy you’ back in December. It took them both a few weeks to kind of, well, get together, kind of become a couple, but not really. And nothing ever changed so much anyway. They still hung out every day, as they used to, just with a bit more cuddling and kissing and sometimes touching. Orlando didn’t know how having a relationship worked, as he’d never been in one, but Felix made him feel good, so Orlando just went with it.

Mrs Weeks had that odd smile on her face whenever Felix came over, that very smile only mothers had when they knew something you didn’t think they knew. ‘Female Intuition’, Felix called it when Orlando told him about his concern. But it couldn’t be that, it was probably Parental Intuition, since Mr White kinda had that same smile and it made Orlando feel uncomfortable and somehow accepted at the same time whenever Felix’s father looked at him.

Spring showers were the worst. You went out with only a light jacket and came back soaking wet, no matter what the weather forecast had said. London weather was horribly unpredictable, so at one point or another, Orlando and Felix had to return muddy and wet from playing football in the park, the sheepish smiles of eight-year-olds on their faces when taking off shoes and socks in the corridor because Mrs Weeks had just cleaned the floor, thank you very much.

“Oh, go take a shower, you two!,” she shouted up the stairs after them and Orlando could practically hear that mother-smile in her voice. Oh god.

“We could probably just step in with all our clothes still on. God, I feel like I’ve returned from a festival, man!,” Felix mused once they’d locked themselves in the bathroom, at the same time contradicting his statement by taking off his clothes already. Orlando became all flustered, because, well,  _nudity_. Felix, self-confident, beautiful Felix, had practically thrown his clothes around the room and turned on the hot water while Orlando had panicked internally for what felt like at least five minutes.

“Are we a bit shy today, hm, Land?,” Felix asked with that same brutally pretty cheeky smile he’d given Orlando a lot in the past few months. It was that ‘You know you want to have sex with me, so goddammit let’s just do it already’-smile that made Orlando terribly excited and scared at the same time. He decided to just, for once, not overthink everything, and took off his own clothes.

Simply the fact that Felix didn’t stare was another reason for Orlando to love him even more and he nuzzled into the older boy’s shoulder as he was pulled into his arms. Felix kissed his hair softly, his forehead, his temple, the edge of his jar, until his mouth reached Orlando’s lips.

“I used to be under the impression that I somehow liked you too much, but as of right now, I’m sure nobody could ever like you too much,” he quietly said, his lips brushing against Orlando’s.

They’d been in bed together a lot, even before being, well, together – Orlando still couldn’t really think of them as  _that_  –, just cuddling, kissing, wrestling, tickling, laughing, sleeping, watching TV or simply lying there, breathing the same air, enjoying each other’s presence.

This time, it was different. The air already changed as they entered Orlando’s room, clad in only towels loosely slung around their hips, dirty clothes in hand. Felix grabbed the pile of football dress out of Orlando’s hands and tossed it into a corner along with his own clothes.

As the older boy ran his hand through Orlando’s wet hair, over his neck and along his spine, Orlando knew this was going to be serious business. He could see it in the way Felix looked at him, a certain look of yearning in his eyes, something that Orlando took as sadness at first, but only because he didn’t know better. No one had ever looked at him like that. No one had been yearning,  _longing_  for Orlando. The older he’d become, the more he’d worried about dying a virgin, because really, if he couldn’t even make conversation properly, who’d ever want to sleep with him? With Felix, it just felt so natural and Orlando had always hoped for this to happen, he just hadn’t prepared, really.

Felix’s lips pressed against Orlando’s firmly, his tongue parting them just a moment after and he led them through the room blindly, hands gripping the younger boy’s hips tightly. Felix pushed Orlando into bed, towels sliding off their hips, hair dripping wet, cold drops of water on hot skin, damp sheets beneath shaking hands. Orlando didn’t know where to put his hands, so he just got hold of Felix’s face and hair while Felix’s hands were everywhere.  _Everywhere_. Places they had wandered to, but never reached. Places they’d been a lot. Places they’d been to some times, but not for long. So many places.

They shared kisses throughout the whole thing, no words spoken, only sometimes broken by heavy breaths and little sighs, stifled moans and choked up laughs, winces and gasps.

The first thing any of them said after Felix had pulled Orlando’s velvet duvet over their tangled, warm bodies, was “I did it.”

Felix said it and Orlando didn’t have a clue what he meant. Without waiting for the younger to ask, he explained, “I got that smile back on your face you only showed to me once in the five years I’ve known you. I brought it back.” Felix’s finger traced Orlando’s lips after that very smile, eyes tired, but happy, voice not more than a whisper.

“When did I show that smile?,” Orlando asked against the older boy’s finger. Felix tried to hide his own smile, but thinking back to the day, he obviously couldn’t help it.

“Boxing Night, when I said ‘Let’s go home’ and we left the bar.”

Orlando sighed. “That was a good night.”

“Every night with you is a good night, Land,” Felix said, eyes so serious that Orlando didn’t dare denying. He simply kissed his boyfriend gently on the lips, entwining their fingers loosely on the velvet duvet. Felix pulled him close and a wonderful warmth spread through Orlando’s whole body. The younger boy had always been a warm person and it felt like heaven falling asleep at his side, with nothing ever separating the two of them. It was only Felix and Orlando and their steady breathing. A lullaby for lovers.

 

 

— FIN —


End file.
